My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She’s Sorry by Frederick Backman

(Book 139) Though I had originally planned to host November, when it was necessary for me to host in August, Mary suggested that I think about allowing her to host in November. Though not a grandmother, Mary is a great aunt and she thought that qualification enough! That’s what happened and it was a great idea.

Strangely, I asked Denny to write the summary of the meeting and send it out with my numerous apologies:  

Hi, this is Denny and I’m going to take some time out from drawing my designs for video game creatures such as DiDongo, Eyelock, Spomth, and Floor Chucha to tell you a couple of things my grandmother (or Grumsie, as I call her) told me to tell you. She thinks maybe she enjoyed the wine more than she should have so she asked me to help her out.

First, Mary, my grandmother told me to tell you she’s sorry, but not sorry for asking you to take on the hosting job that she was originally going to do this month. She’s sorry because she made you have to do so much work instead of her, but she’s not sorry because she said everything was really-really good. I can’t say that smoked salmon with cream cheese, pickled herring, gouda cheese and crackers or cucumbers with cream cheese and dill sound at all good to me, I might eat the crackers, but the rest sounds pretty thumbs down, but Grumsie said those were just the delicious appetizers. The meal part sounded a little better because I do like meatballs, if you could serve mine without the gravy, the mashed potatoes and the reddish pink stuff. She said if I would try it, I would love it all because you’re a great cook, but, you know, I’d probably be pretty full after the meatballs. Grumsie always pretends I can’t have dessert if I say I’m too full to eat the real food, but then she usually starts thinking how the world is so strange it might be the end of days and she lets me have dessert anyway. She said your coffee flavored cake with coffee ice cream was the best, and my Gramps told me to tell you he’s sorry that he can’t say how good it is tonight cause he thinks he’d better wait until tomorrow to try the slices you sent home for him. He also told me to tell you that it was so nice of you to think of him and then he dozed off. He can go to sleep just like that, but Grumsie says you’ve seen that for yourself.

When I asked Grumsie about the book, she said it takes all kinds to make a world and that there are a lot of kinds in the book club. She said some people, like Marcia, liked it a lot cause it felt true to her experience with her granddaughter and I remembered I had a playdate with her once a really long time ago. (Grumsie told me she thought Susan, Rosalie and Mary were in the same group as Marcia.) Then she said some people super hated the booklike Linda and Chris because the author tried to write too many things, borrowed from too many places and tried to make Elsa sound so exceptional. Grumsie said that she thought the book was in-between because she liked the characters in the house and their relationships to each other, but didn’t like all the fantasy jazz. So, I guess I get that because this kid Calvin, whose birthday party I just went to (but didn’t play laser tag cause it freaked me out and I kinda regret that now) anyway Calvin likes these Wings of Fire books with a dragon on the cover so we bought him three of those, but then I asked my Mom if we could also get him the first Mysterious Benedict Society which is about these really smart kids (all smart in different ways) who try to help Mr. Benedict stop his twin brother from doing evil things to the world. So, yeah, people like different things. My grandmother told me to tell all of you who didn’t like the book that she’s sorry you didn’t like it, but you don’t get your money back. I don’t know what that means and honestly, I don’t think she does either. Remember what I said about the wine.

Then my grandmother asked me to tell all of you that she’s sorry about the new book list she gave you for next year and she hopes you don’t all go crazy trying to get two books not to stick to each other. I think I should probably tell you that I’m sorry because if I hadn’t gotten that toy in my McDonalds Happy Meal, Grumsie might not have gone to such an extreme with the game and magnets and all. But I never know what’s going to set her off so, I can’t really be held responsible for that.

OK What else? Oh yeah, the cookie exchange meeting will be at Susan’s house on December 14th.  Grumsie said there was some confusion about  Sharon’s Distribution Process, but she thinks here’s what you should do: Bring 11 bags of 6 cookies. Ten of those bags will be picked up by the other book club members and 1 bag will be put out on a plate so everyone can sample that evening. She says that’s not really what the confusion was about but this way every member can pick up a bag and put it carefully into whatever container they bring and there are some cookies out to try! Remember, I like basic sugar cookies. Grumsie will start an email to reply with the kind of cookies and appetizer you’ll be bringing.

OK One final thing, my grandmother told me to tell you she’s sorry that she milked this sorry thing for all it’s worth.